I have made no secret of the fact that I don't like the GJ tube. He has still been gaggy, has still vomited, and still screamed. I don't feel like it fixed anything, and I've always had a feeling that it was uncomfortable for him and possibly causing him pain. I've been told by every doctor that it doesn't, but I still couldn't be convinced. I went home last night (thanks to Moga for staying with Levi!) feeling like I should just shut my mouth because no one was hearing me anyway. I felt like the doctors were all sick of listening to my concerns.
Even though I was home, I just couldn't sleep. Everything kept playing through my mind, and I knew I had been defeated, that I would just have to accept their answers and live with the GJ tube. I talked to God, and had a wonderful prayer session.
This morning when I woke up I found out that the tube had clogged. Immediately I felt that it was an answered prayer, and hoped that it would have to come out and I could go back to the mickey G button. The first day of our admission over three weeks ago we met with the doctors and dietitian and decided to change formula, etc. We had a plan, the last step of which would be a possible GJ tube if everything else failed. I wanted to give that plan a chance! If the GJ tube had to come out anyway, I didn't see a reason why we couldn't go back to a G tube.
I prayed about it and decided if the tube was able to be unclogged, then of course we would just keep it. But if it couldn't, I would fight for the G button. The outcome was in God's hands, and I found comfort in that. It couldn't be unclogged, and WOW did I have to fight to change it! Even our primary GI doctor didn't agree with me, but I stood firm. They did everything but tell me I had no choice, and they certainly made it seem like I didn't. So I flat refused to sign for a GJ tube. Those of you who know me know how very much this is outside my character, and my comfort zone! I hate confrontation! Thankfully by the end Patrick was here and he supported me.
Did I make the right decision? Only time will tell. All I can say is that I felt beyond a shadow of a doubt that the GJ was causing problems. Levi's quality of life rests on my shoulders, and I always want to do the very best for him. We can't see into the future. We can only make the best decisions that we can with the knowledge presented us right now. There was really no "right" answer here, just a choice between two different paths. I pray the path I chose will be good for him.
Even though I was home, I just couldn't sleep. Everything kept playing through my mind, and I knew I had been defeated, that I would just have to accept their answers and live with the GJ tube. I talked to God, and had a wonderful prayer session.
This morning when I woke up I found out that the tube had clogged. Immediately I felt that it was an answered prayer, and hoped that it would have to come out and I could go back to the mickey G button. The first day of our admission over three weeks ago we met with the doctors and dietitian and decided to change formula, etc. We had a plan, the last step of which would be a possible GJ tube if everything else failed. I wanted to give that plan a chance! If the GJ tube had to come out anyway, I didn't see a reason why we couldn't go back to a G tube.
I prayed about it and decided if the tube was able to be unclogged, then of course we would just keep it. But if it couldn't, I would fight for the G button. The outcome was in God's hands, and I found comfort in that. It couldn't be unclogged, and WOW did I have to fight to change it! Even our primary GI doctor didn't agree with me, but I stood firm. They did everything but tell me I had no choice, and they certainly made it seem like I didn't. So I flat refused to sign for a GJ tube. Those of you who know me know how very much this is outside my character, and my comfort zone! I hate confrontation! Thankfully by the end Patrick was here and he supported me.
Did I make the right decision? Only time will tell. All I can say is that I felt beyond a shadow of a doubt that the GJ was causing problems. Levi's quality of life rests on my shoulders, and I always want to do the very best for him. We can't see into the future. We can only make the best decisions that we can with the knowledge presented us right now. There was really no "right" answer here, just a choice between two different paths. I pray the path I chose will be good for him.
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