Friday, January 10, 2014

Looking Back and Feeling Thankful

It's been just over three months since our last big hospital stay.  During that time we changed his formula (still maintaining the ketogenic diet) and he had his tonsils and adenoids taken out.  We were in the hospital nearly a month.  It felt like the climax to a three year nightmare.  There is a song (Need you Now by Plumb) that I clung to during this time.  One of the verses says "Standing on a road I didn't plan.  Wondering how I got to where I am.  I'm trying to hear that still, small voice.  I'm trying to hear above the noise."  At the time, that's exactly what was going through my head.  How did I end up here?  I was trying so hard to listen to the voice of God but the clamor of my own crazy, fearful thoughts kept getting in the way.  And, dear God, WHY did we continue to go through the same things over and over again?  By his grace, I was able to push my own doubts aside and really listen to what I felt he was telling me to do.

That hospital stay was a turning point.  For the first time in three years, Levi is doing very well!  He is growing chunky now and looking so healthy.  He started a therapy intensive school last month, which has already done wonders for his strength and stamina, not to mention his interest level.  He smiles daily, an answer to a prayer I have prayed for years, that he could just be out of pain and happy.  He's working to gain control over his arms and legs.  Sure, there's still a long road to walk down, but finally, thankfully, we have put the hardest and most frightening things behind us and can look toward a bright future.

No matter how bleak things look, no matter how frightened you are, there is ALWAYS hope in God.  Don't give up.  Just keep believing, and don't give up.