For the past couple of weeks Patrick, Mom and I have been fasting and praying for Levi. For quite a while now I have been praying for breakthrough, and have received it. The breakthrough I had in mind was for Levi, but God had a different idea.
Last week at church Pastor Mike was talking about what happens when we focus so much negative attention on a problem that we can't see around it. The problem becomes our focal point, and we forget to look at the big picture and what God can do. This really struck a chord with me. For two years now I have been faced with problem after problem (Levi's various health issues) and at times the issue of the moment has become all-consuming. I try so hard to figure out what's going on and how to fix it. I'm not saying that I shouldn't do that, only that I should not allow it to take over my entire life and turn me into a stressed, joyless hag. What was revealed to me during Pastor Mike's message (and various other venues through the week!) is that I am not in control. I have absolutely no control over what ails Levi and the timing through which it will resolve. I can focus every second and every fiber of my being on trying to figure it out by myself, but it will do me, or Levi, or anyone else around me, no good because I am not in control. God is. He always has been, and always will be.
I can't tell you how freeing this has been! I've taken my life back. I sing to Levi more, play with him more, spend more time counting my many blessings instead of being fearful of the present and the future. I still work through problems as they arise, but they do not consume me. I have accepted the developmental state that he's in and stop trying to rush him before he's ready. All this will work out according to God's timing, not Lynn's.
So the breakthrough I prayed for has been delivered. Not as I asked for, but as I so desperately needed. For that I am grateful!
Last week at church Pastor Mike was talking about what happens when we focus so much negative attention on a problem that we can't see around it. The problem becomes our focal point, and we forget to look at the big picture and what God can do. This really struck a chord with me. For two years now I have been faced with problem after problem (Levi's various health issues) and at times the issue of the moment has become all-consuming. I try so hard to figure out what's going on and how to fix it. I'm not saying that I shouldn't do that, only that I should not allow it to take over my entire life and turn me into a stressed, joyless hag. What was revealed to me during Pastor Mike's message (and various other venues through the week!) is that I am not in control. I have absolutely no control over what ails Levi and the timing through which it will resolve. I can focus every second and every fiber of my being on trying to figure it out by myself, but it will do me, or Levi, or anyone else around me, no good because I am not in control. God is. He always has been, and always will be.
I can't tell you how freeing this has been! I've taken my life back. I sing to Levi more, play with him more, spend more time counting my many blessings instead of being fearful of the present and the future. I still work through problems as they arise, but they do not consume me. I have accepted the developmental state that he's in and stop trying to rush him before he's ready. All this will work out according to God's timing, not Lynn's.
So the breakthrough I prayed for has been delivered. Not as I asked for, but as I so desperately needed. For that I am grateful!